Over the past several decades, America has witnessed a profound change in the way men view women and marriage. It began with the baby boomer adage “never trust a feminist.”
This message resulted in a generation of men who turned their attention away from the home and onto the workforce. They did what their father told them to do: they became financially independent so they’d never have to marry a feminist woman.
In time, “never marry a feminist woman” turned into the full-blown belief that women are superfluous. In 2010 George Clooney claimed men needn’t “fiddle with a woman” to be successful.
This may strike you as an isolated case of stupidity, but Clooney’s willingness to put it out there speaks volumes about modern cultural attitudes. No actor would have said such a thing in the 70s, 80s, or even early 90s.
Fortunately, most men come to the realization that they do, in fact, need a woman—at least if they want to make partner at their firm.
A family is a great thing, but you can’t take your child to the bank. And there’s nothing empowering about being beholden to your child when what you really want is to have an employer. That’s dependency of a different sort.
This is the conclusion to which most men have come. Research shows that what men want more than anything else is not to have balanced lives. They work full-time and year-round so they can avoid doing housework and changing diapers.
How will they do it? That’s the number-one conversation among men today.
‘Round and ’round we go, asking how men can gain more control over their lives. How can they avoid spending more time with their children? How can they make time for exercise or even a social life? How can they keep their houses in order and still have time to cook? The answer is obvious.
Lean on your wife.
According to Pew Research, “Dads are much more likely than moms to say they want to work full time. And when it comes to what they value most in a job, working fathers place more importance on having a high-paying job, while working mothers are more concerned with having a flexible schedule.”
And there’s only one way to get it: rely on a woman to live her life barefoot and pregnant. Unlike men, a woman identity is inextricably linked to how clean her kitchen is. That’s how most women feel a sense of purpose. Indeed, research shows women see it as their duty to rely on their husband’s money so they can perfect the perfect cupcake recipe and sew the trendiest adorable clothes for their toddlers!
Perhaps that’s because women can’t produce work the way men can—let’s face it: those are some serious shoes to fill—but they can produce as many children as God wants them to because they would never touch birth control. As a nation, we dismiss this integral part of femininity. But that doesn’t make it any less true.
So why not let women do cook the bulk of the bacon so men can have the overworked lives they seek? There’s no way to be a husband, a father and a full-time employee and still create balance. But you can stare at cubicle walls and submit TPS reports til midnight by depending on a wife who works full-time and year-round to run your house and take care of your kids for you.
I know what you’re going to say. Where are these wives on whom men can depend? And you’re right: there are fewer women these days who seem eager to be primary homemakers.
But ask yourself why, and I bet you know the answer.